I’ve been back and forth with this just because of my habit to use “oh man”, or “oh dude” in the past. I’ve done pretty well with changing the terminology just to keep to the discussion at hand and being respectful for anyone I’m talking to (just feels like basic public respect, like back in the day they would say “Dear Reader,” not really a PC problem to me).
So anyways, I found myself typing “oh boy” the other day and I paused to wonder about it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it brought up in discussions like man or dude. I never even thought of that phrase as it signifying the recipient is a “boy”. The more I think on it I don’t even know what the actual meaning is besides the way in which it is used (like, “shit” or “you wouldn’t believe”).
tldr: Is “oh boy” an acceptable gender-neutral response loop hole so I can be lazier when typing or has this been discussed a lot and I’ve just missed out on it?
I would love to hear the perspectives of everyone and encourage you to voice your opinion (just message if you don’t want other’s chiming in if you prefer)
Can we all just agree that Dude is a gender agnostic term and doesn’t just refer to men. It’s what Bill and Ted would have wanted.
I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, we’re all dudes, hey
Sure, I agree it’s fairly gender agnostic, but it’s a familiar term that shouldn’t be used when addressing strangers.
I’ve been surprised to find that females in my circle consider dude gender neutral.
What does mine say?
Sweet! What does mine say?
Who would be misgendered by saying it? You aren’t referring to the person you are speaking to when you say it imo, it’s a hypothetical boy
“Oh it” sounds like you are trying to sneakily say “Oh shit” by not pronouncing some syllables.
I interpret it as being analogous to “oh wow”. Some people will say “oh boy” in place of “oh wow”, kind of similar to how my friends will say “I know right” but I and some other people will instead say “I know eh”.
When I was working as a line cook in college, I was one of two white guys behind the line, with the rest of our BOH (Back Of House) crew being black. One day on the line we were all joking around like we always did. One of the black cooks, named Rose (he was an older guy, with coke-bottle glasses and strong, thickly calloused hands. He had a snaggle tooth and a big ol’ pot belly), was regaling us with stories about how he has a veritable harem of women at his beck and call. He told us he was supporting like 5 different women, and all of them were entirely devoted to him.
I thought that he was being hyperbolic, and decided that I would poke fun. I was going to say something like “Rose, I can’t believe for a second that even 1 woman would be after your ugly mug.” But my midwestern-whiteness shone through, and before I could deliver that absolute blister of a line, I decided to use an exclamation so as to punctuate my lack of belief in his statement. I started with “Ooh boy,” and didn’t get to finish.
I was immediately accosted by Rose, his spatula gripped tightly, and he was mad as hell. The other line cooks were instantly aware of the situation and reacted to hold him back, as Rose was about to knock my befuddled ass into next week. Eventually they were able to calm him down, and explained to my dumbass that calling a black man “boy” was explicitly racist, and derogatory.
We were fine once he realized I had no idea it was racist, I just thought of it as an exclamation along the lines of “Boy howdy!” or something.
It was a very eye-opening moment.
Hmm, as a non-American, I didn’t know the potentially racist connotation either until I read your post. I’m assuming that it could be interpreted as infantalising black men… But anyway I’m curious about the historical context.
That’s actually why Mr T adopted his moniker.
I think about my father being called “boy”, my uncle being called “boy”, my brother, coming back from Vietnam and being called “boy”. So I questioned myself: “What does a black man have to do before he’s given respect as a man?” So when I was 18 years old, when I was old enough to fight and die for my country, old enough to drink, old enough to vote, I said I was old enough to be called a man. I self-ordained myself Mr. T, so the first word out of everybody’s mouth is “Mr.”
Ooh boy, not racist.
Ooh, boy, racist.
Easy moment of confusion tbh.
No, it’s known as an interjection
I don’t think it’s a gendered term, but you could switch to “oh snap”
oh I like that, it’s not in my usual rolodex but covers the feelings of all of them. A little new-age for me, but it checks out as a good alternative.
I suggest “By Grabthar’s Hammer!” 🤓
What a savings!
I would say this a thousand times before i would say snap.
Someone says that at work at least once a week.
In a similar vein, I’m curious about the modern consensus on “you guys,” as in, “what do you guys want to do this weekend?”
I personally don’t like it as it makes me uncomfortable because I’m not a guy, and it makes me feel a bit excluded.
That being said, I’m fully aware it’s rarely used in a gendered way anymore so I’m don’t generally say anything. It’s just how I feel. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
FWIW, as a woman, I’ve never cared or felt excluded when people say “you guys” or “dude”. I say these things all the time in casual conversation. The only time I’ve felt weird about it is if these terms are used in a less casual setting, and even then, it’s usually because someone has used these terms and then realized that there is, in fact, at least one woman present, and then they start tripping all over themselves to correct their wording, and it’s awkward as fuck (and a little funny) watching them try to sort themselves out.
replace with Y’all
Oh my?
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I’ve never had problems using terms like “look man,” “oh boy,” or “dude” In “normal” conversion with anyone until recently. I was talking to a trans-woman I know and definitely stopped myself from dropping “hey man” in our conversation because I thought she would not appreciate it. That’s caused some self reflection and while I’ll probably continue to use genderbent language when talking with my wife I’ll probably seek to minimize it elsewhere. I don’t really know how in tune a given woman I’m talking to is with their muliebrity and it seems not my place as a cis man to make that determination for them.
I would say for a lot of people it probably doesn’t matter, but for those that it does it does a lot and it’s no skin off my back to try to be courteous in my speech with whomever.
I’d separate oh boy from hey man. Hey man is directed at someone, oh boy is just a remark about the state of things
TIL- Muliebrity (Muliebrity means womanly nature or qualities, or the condition of being a woman. It comes from Latin muliēbris, derived from mulier, meaning woman)
Feel about the same as your case. Every one has preferred pronouns, I like to point out to conservative relatives that “sir” and “ma’am” is just another form that they learned growing up for certain individuals. It’s just basic manners.
I’m not a native English speaker, but I always thought an expression like “oh boy” was more self-reflective. Like you say it more to yourself than to whoever you’re talking to.
In which case, the other’s gender shouldn’t really matter?
In any case, I personally don’t feel insulted or misgendered if someone uses it in a conversation with me.Look at it this way, if you’re talking to someone who gets offended because you said “Oh boy”, you really, really don’t want to be having any more conversations with a person like that, so it’s kind of a win/win situation
Just start saying “Oh geez!” Like Morty and people will beg you to go back to Oh Boy
Saying “Oh boy” in the way you would say “Oh my” or “Oh wow” is not gendered in the sense that you aren’t calling anyone around you “boy”, but rather saying it to yourself as an exclamation; just like how religious people say “Oh God!” or “Oh my God!”; if you said “Oh God”, you wouldn’t be calling the other person “God”.
I got into an internet argument with someone who claimed similar with my usage of “dude.”
In the wise words of a great poet of our generation, “I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, we’re all dudes, hey.”
I still use dude with everyone.
The dude abides.
Oh fuck
IMO, “oh boy” would have a definition of “wowza!” Whereas “oh girl” would have a definition of “sassy!”. In this vain, I declare “oh boy” to be gender neutral.
Same goes for “awww, maaaan”
I say “Damn, Gina!” after the 90s Fox sitcom, Martin.
Creeper?
